Bu \u0131ss\u0131z adaya d\u00fc\u015feli ka\u00e7 y\u0131l olmu\u015ftu?\u00a0 Ne zamandan beri tek bir insan y\u00fcz\u00fc dahi g\u00f6rmemi\u015fti hat\u0131rlam\u0131yordu.\u00a0 \u0130lk zamanlar b\u00fcy\u00fck bir umut besliyordu.\u00a0 Birg\u00fcn bu adadan kurtulacak, tekrar \u00f6zlem duydu\u011fu yuvas\u0131na d\u00f6necekti.\u00a0 O umutla ta\u015ftan bir balta yapm\u0131\u015f, o baltayla kesti\u011fi a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131 birle\u015ftirerek bir sal in\u015fa etmi\u015fti.\u00a0 Ne var ki yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 sal, ilk b\u00fcy\u00fck dalgada da\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, kendisini zor bela adaya geri atabilmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Denemelerine bir ka\u00e7 kez daha devam etmi\u015f ama hi\u00e7birinde ba\u015far\u0131ya ula\u015famam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u00a0 Nihayetinde “\u00f6lmektense bu adada ya\u015famaya al\u0131\u015fmal\u0131y\u0131m” diyerek kendince aday\u0131 daha ya\u015fanabilir k\u0131lmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u00a0 Ger\u00e7ek hayatta sevdi\u011fi, onu mutlu eden her ne varsa adada onun suretini yaratmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u00a0 Bir kitapl\u0131k yapt\u0131, i\u00e7ini kitaba benzer \u015fekilde oydu\u011fu a\u011fa\u00e7 par\u00e7alar\u0131yla doldurdu.\u00a0 Bir ba\u015fka odun par\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131 epey u\u011fra\u015farak televizyona benzetti.\u00a0 Kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ge\u00e7ip en sevdi\u011fi filmlerin hat\u0131r\u0131nda kalan repliklerini seslendirdi.\u00a0 Kafas\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7inde oynayan filmi renksiz televizyonunda oynuyormu\u015f gibi hayal etti.<\/p>\n

A\u011fa\u00e7tan oyarak hayali arkada\u015flar yapt\u0131 kendisine.\u00a0 Onlarla yan yana oturup okyanusu izledi.\u00a0 Siyasetten, kad\u0131nlardan, futboldan, ge\u00e7mi\u015ften ve gelecekten konu\u015ftular.\u00a0 Hayali arkada\u015flar\u0131na kimselere anlatmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131.\u00a0 \u0130lk kimi sevmi\u015f, ilk hangi su\u00e7u i\u015flemi\u015f, en \u00e7ok neden utanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u00a0 \u00c7ocuklar gibi kimin i\u00e7in a\u011flam\u0131\u015f, kimin arkas\u0131ndan at\u0131p tutmu\u015f, kimin hakk\u0131n\u0131 yemi\u015fti.\u00a0 Kimi aldatm\u0131\u015f, kime yalanlar s\u00f6ylemi\u015f, kimden \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne korkmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n

“\u0130nsan, kendisi gibi g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc birinin yan\u0131nda ne kadar da geveze olabiliyormu\u015f?”<\/em> diye ge\u00e7irdi i\u00e7inden.\u00a0 Neyse ki bu arkada\u015flar\u0131 kimseye duyduklar\u0131n\u0131 anlatamazlard\u0131, hayalden ibaretlerdi neticede.<\/p>\n

Bu aday\u0131 ya\u015fanabilir k\u0131lmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131na ama birg\u00fcn ufuktan bir geminin g\u00f6r\u00fcnebilme ihtimalini de akl\u0131n\u0131n bir k\u00f6\u015fesinde bar\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131yordu.\u00a0 Ne demi\u015f \u015fair “Umut en son terk olunan \u015feydir”<\/em> o da umudunu en derinlerinde ya\u015fatmaya devam ediyordu.\u00a0 O y\u00fczden \u00e7ok u\u011fra\u015farak in\u015fa etti\u011fi bir sal\u0131 haz\u0131rda bekletiyordu.<\/p>\n

Yine ka\u00e7 g\u00fcn, ka\u00e7 gece, ka\u00e7 y\u0131l ge\u00e7ti bilmiyordu ama birg\u00fcn, g\u00fcne\u015f tam tepedeyken, do\u011fu y\u00f6n\u00fcnde, ufukta bir karart\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc.\u00a0 Daha dikkatli bak\u0131nca bunun do\u011fudan bat\u0131ya do\u011fru hareket eden bir gemi oldu\u011funa emin oldu.\u00a0 Bir umutla, bug\u00fcnler i\u00e7in yap\u0131p saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 sal\u0131 alarak denize do\u011fru ko\u015ftu.\u00a0 Sal\u0131n \u00fczerine atlad\u0131 ve h\u0131zla kula\u00e7 atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\u00a0 K\u0131sa s\u00fcrede o kadar yol katetmi\u015fti ki kendisi bile \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.\u00a0 Saatlerce u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131ktan sonra gemiye epeyce yakla\u015ft\u0131.\u00a0 Sal\u0131n \u00fczerinde aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131 ve ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131p el sallamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\u00a0 G\u00f6rmeliydiler onu, bunca eme\u011fini kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131ks\u0131z b\u0131rakmamal\u0131yd\u0131lar.\u00a0 Ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131, ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131…\u00a0 Sal\u0131n \u00fczerinde deliler gibi hoplad\u0131, z\u0131plad\u0131, \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nd\u0131.\u00a0 Nafile…\u00a0 Gemi onu g\u00f6rmeden, umursamadan, yoluna devam etti.<\/p>\n

Gemi onu g\u00f6rmezden gelmekle kalmam\u0131\u015f, \u00fcst\u00fcne bir de giderken ard\u0131nda b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 dalgalar ile sal\u0131 da da\u011f\u0131tm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u00a0 B\u00fcy\u00fck bir hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ile kendisini u\u00e7suz bucaks\u0131z mavili\u011fin ortas\u0131nda \u00e7\u0131r\u0131l\u00e7\u0131plak bulmu\u015ftu.\u00a0 \u00d6nce tela\u015fla etraf\u0131nda d\u00f6n\u00fcp y\u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc belirlemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u00a0 Uzaktaki adas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce o y\u00f6ne do\u011fru kula\u00e7 atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00dc\u00e7 be\u015f kula\u00e7 atm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ki birden durdu.\u00a0 “Ben ne yap\u0131yorum?\u00a0 Ne i\u00e7in bu \u00e7aba?\u00a0 Hayali dostlar\u0131ma anlatacak neyim kald\u0131?\u00a0 Hayali televizyonumda tekrar tekrar ayn\u0131 filmi izlemek i\u00e7in mi t\u00fcm bu \u00e7aba?\u00a0 Yeter…\u00a0 Yoruldum.”<\/em> dedi.\u00a0 Ve \u00f6yle hareketsizce durmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\u00a0 Hareketsiz durdu\u011fu i\u00e7in yava\u015f\u00e7a koyu mavi sular\u0131n derinli\u011fine do\u011fru inmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.\u00a0 “Hay\u0131r!\u00a0 \u0130ntihar de\u011fil bu!” diye i\u00e7sesini bast\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u00a0 “\u0130ntihar yaln\u0131zca kendi can\u0131na kastetmek midir?” diye sordu i\u00e7sesi ve ekledi “Vazge\u00e7i\u015f de m\u00fccadele etmeyi b\u0131rakmak da bir nevi intihar de\u011fil midir?”<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7 sesinin s\u00f6yledikleri ona ger\u00e7e\u011fi g\u00f6stermi\u015fti.\u00a0 H\u0131zla yukar\u0131 do\u011fru y\u00fczmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.\u00a0 Ne var ki \u00e7ok derine inmi\u015fti ve art\u0131k ne g\u00fcc\u00fc ne nefesi onu yukar\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcrmeye yetmiyordu.\u00a0 Suyun \u00f6tesinde g\u00fcne\u015fi son kez g\u00f6rd\u00fc.\u00a0 Son kez g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi ve i\u00e7 sesine “Sen de g\u00f6rd\u00fcn, ger\u00e7ekten \u00e7abalad\u0131m.” dedi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bu \u0131ss\u0131z adaya d\u00fc\u015feli ka\u00e7 y\u0131l olmu\u015ftu?\u00a0 Ne zamandan beri […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1920,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[12],"tags":[686,61,234,57,83],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1919"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1919"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1919\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1921,"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1919\/revisions\/1921"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1920"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1919"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1919"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mahirsanli.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1919"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}